Humor: Trick or Treat!
|
 |
Friday, 30 October 09 - 12:01 AM (GMT -05:00) By J M L in Humor |
| ||
Aries: pushes the others aside to get to the door first
Taurus: will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates
Gemini: goes around the neighborhood once, changes costumes and goes around again.
Cancer: stays at home and gives candy to the other trick or treaters
Leo: plans their costume for months, then won't go out because someone else had the same idea
Virgo: wears a neatly pressed suit and tells everyone they're a bookkeeper
Libra: is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide on a costume
Scorpio: isn't in it for the candy
Sagittarius: will manage to wonder to the next town
Capricorn: makes a list of all the houses that give good candy and the optimal route to take
Aquarius: builds their costume out of spare flashlights and spends all night tinkering when it shorts
Pisces: skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the moon
An Old Lady Reflects
|
|
|
Tuesday, 14 April 09 - 12:01 AM (GMT -05:00) By J M L in Humor |
| ||
An 80 year old with good sense of humour
The local news station was interviewing an 80 year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
'He's a funeral director,' she answered.
'Interesting,' the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.
After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly,
explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's,
then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's,
later on a preacher when in her 60's,
and now in her 80's, a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained,
One for the money,
two for the show,
three to get ready,
and four to go.
Lord of the Peeps
|
|
|
Monday, 06 April 09 - 10:31 AM (GMT -05:00) By J M L in Humor |
| ||
I am just so amused by this.
Lord of the Peeps -- you can just click on images or read the story and see all the silly pictures.
Enjoy.
Snowmen Cupcakes
|
|
|
Sunday, 01 March 09 - 12:00 AM (GMT -05:00) By J M L in Humor |
| ||
Guess I have cup cakes on my mind. That reminds me of my cup cake funny sad and sweet disaster story -- another post later.
We have had lots of snow around here. Two weeks off and no storms but another biggie on the way. I don't like the snow but the idea of these will certainly get me through another blizzard. Three more weeks till spring, mud season.
Admire these little works of art by Bakerella at Flickr and how lucky to be so talented. She made them for her co-workers -- what a treat!
The Happy Cupcake Face
|
|
|
Saturday, 28 February 09 - 06:00 PM (GMT -05:00) By J M L in Humor |
| ||
Well -- I am back.
I have been working a huge job project since October and now -- it is finally done, well almost, hopefully things will get back to normal after I offically finish up and get some rest (wish it were a vacation!).
Anyways, I was surfing and found this picture at Flickr and it just made me laugh it was so cute and how lucky to get a shot like that!
The Happy Cupcake Face -- will put you in a good mood.
Humor: Catalog Shopping
|
|
|
Sunday, 28 December 08 - 12:00 AM (GMT -05:00) By J M L in Humor |
| ||
Humor: Great Truths About Growing Old
|
|
|
Thursday, 30 October 08 - 12:00 AM (GMT -05:00) By J M L in Humor |
| ||
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it shrinks two sizes.
Every time I think about exercise, I lie down till the thought goes away.
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but he or she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.
Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
... More items are available in my News Archive
